Here are his top 10 tips for being a comedian.

1. Make people laugh

My Dad had a lively sense of humour, he was always cracking jokes. I think perhaps that gave me the idea that being funny was a good way to behave, but I think it was going to the circus and seeing the clowns that had a big impact on me growing up.
When I was about 10 years old, I used to know a lot of jokes culled from children's comics and things, but eventually I got to an age where I realised that you have to write your own stuff.
Making your friends laugh at school or in the office is not the same as getting up on stage and making a bunch of people who don't know who you are laugh. But it is a step in the right direction and being funny around your friends is certainly one way of practising.

2. Get on stage and give it a go

Get on stage and give it a go, that's the first thing you should do. That will tell you a lot. You could try it with a bunch of jokes which you've cribbed from the internet and pretend they're your own the first time.

Paul Merton has an easy approach to hecklers - just telling them to shut up generally works

If you felt that it worked and you enjoyed it, then it would maybe give you the confidence to try and write your own stuff, because eventually that is what you are going to have to do in the end.
Getting up on stage that first time will tell you if it's for you. If it's a horrendous experience, you won't want to ever do it again. It will tell you a lot about yourself, so just get up and try, everything else stems from that really.

3. Practice

It's like most things, thinking of something funny to say, quickly, requires practice. It's like a muscle I suppose, the more you do it, the better you will get.
Like any muscle, if I haven't worked live for a few weeks or if I haven't done a gig for a while, I find when I come back I'm a bit slower and it takes a while to get back up to speed.
It's about practice and about having the dedication and the temperament to pursue what you want to do I suppose.

4. Don't worry about hecklers, just tell them to shut up

If you think it is going to be a tough audience, watch and learn how a skilled comedian can turn that audience around

If someone heckles you, just tell them to shut up, or be quiet. You don't have to engage them in great battles of wits, because they are inevitably very drunk.
I was doing a charity gig the other night and there was a guy who started shouting things out from the front row, so one of us just said, "Thank you for coming, other people are trying to listen," which was a nice way of telling him to shut up and he did.
It tends to only happen when there is a solo comedian on stage and the person shouting at them from the audience is envious of the person on stage, that's all it is. I find you don't need to think of a funny put-down for a heckler, just tell them to shut up.

5. Get yourself on TV

You still have to be on TV I think if you really want to make it in the business. That may change in years to come, but at the moment, television is still immensely important. It creates the opportunity for so many more people to see you.
The thing is, there's only a small proportion of people who actually like you, but the more of them that see you the better so that you can start to build up a bit of an audience.
Even with Have I Got News For You getting something like five million viewers, that's still 45 million people who aren't watching. That's an enormous number. You need to know that most people don't care or at best are sort of ambivalent and be OK with that.

6. Learn from other comedians

Paul Merton has proved his versatility and skill through his long-running success on stage and small screen

It's so important to learn from other comedians. When I first started I used to read autobiographies and watch other comedians on stage and watch how they were doing things.
If you think it is going to be a tough audience, watch and learn how a skilled comedian can turn that audience around. All that kind of thing can be picked up just by observing as well as doing it yourself.
I grew up loving comedy and great comedians, everybody from Charlie Chaplin through to John Cleese, they were important figures that you could be inspired by.

7. Awards aren't everything

Getting awards isn't everything, they're not important. If you have a successful career in showbusiness you've already won the raffle.
I won a Bafta once and that was very thrilling, particularly as I'd been nominated 13 times, so eventually when I did win it, it was nice, because it was getting a bit rude. It's like being invited to a party and just before you turn up they say no, no, not today.

8. Find your own style

You can purposefully search for your own style of comedy or it develops through stage time, which is that key thing, being in a stage environment in front of other people as often as you can.

I sometimes think laughter is probably the thing that stops us all going completely insane from the moment we are born

It doesn't come immediately, but everything comes down to that really, if you really want to do it, then you've just got to get on stage and experience performing live.
Your style will develop, the more you do it. When I first started I didn't have the style I have now necessarily, but it grows on you and you develop it over the years.

9. Don't have a silly stage name

You had to be a member of Equity to appear on television when I was starting out; of course reality TV shows have put an end to that. There was another guy, he was a juggler in Leeds called Paul Martin and you couldn't have two people with the same name.
Because I always practised my signature as a kid, I didn't want to change my autograph, so Martin became Merton. I lived in that part of London and I remember thinking that was quite easy, just to change two letters and I soon got used to being called that.
When I thought of changing my name, I thought about changing it to a funny name, like Paul Funnybones or something, but you'd be sick of it after half an hour and be stuck with it. So the name is not so important, as long as it's not Captain Death or something.

10. Let laughter help you through the hard times

My life hasn't always gone according to plan. The work is a therapy to the sadness and grief. When you are physically laughing at something, that's the only thing that you are aware of at that point and everything else, just for that moment, disappears.
I sometimes think laughter is probably the thing that stops us all going completely insane from the moment we are born. In the end, you have to please yourself as well as hopefully the audience.
If I could go back in time and speak to my younger self when I was just starting out, I'd say don't worry, it will all be alright.

THE SAME OLD FASHIONED WAY

The God that stoped the sun on high
and send manna from the sky
laid flat the walls of jericho
and gave flight to his real foes
WHY CANT HE ANSWER PRAYER TODAY
and drive each stormy cloud away 
he who turnes water to wine

PRESONAL INVITATION FOR LEVELS PROGRAMME TAGGED FROM ZERO TO ZERO

Hello there, We trust you had a good day and are looking forward to an even more exciting tomorrow. We are sure you had a great time at our 7-Star Graduate Conference last year, at The Main Auditorium, UNILAG, and are hopefully applying the lessons you've learnt from the seasoned speakers and executives in your new found jobs or businesses.

6 Top Nigerian Female Celebrities Who Are Still Virgins (+Photos)

These Nigerian celebrities are virgins and they are proud of their virgin status and they don’t hesitate to tell anybody who cares that they are still virgins. Check them out.

1. ADOKIYE

Nigerian singer, Adokiye has always maintained that she is still a vir-gin and a proud one at that. She made headlines when she offered her virgin-ity to Boko Haram in exchange of the Chibok abducted girls

For Ladies – 10 Foods That Ensures Bigger br**sts

If you are interested in increasing your chest size naturally without surgery, changing your diet something you should consider. It is important to realize that food by itself cannot induce chest growth. For that you need chest enlargement herbs. However, without the amino acids and phytoestrogens that are contained in certain foods, your br**sts will not grow as much as they should, no matter how many herbs you take. The following ten foods are both good for you and available in any grocery store. Simply add them in your diet to boost your natural chest enlargement program.

1. Alfalfa sprouts Alfalfa sprouts are rich inphytoestrogens and other nutrients that promote chest growth.
2. Avocado Avocado contains amino acids and other nutrients that promote growth of the br**sts.
3. Flax seeds  Flax seeds contain phytoestrogens, which stimulate chest growth.

9 Signs You’re in the Right Relationship

Here are the 9 signs that you’re in a solid and satisfying relationship:

#1: You love and appreciate each other.
Love is, of course, the essential ingredient in any happy, romantic relationship so it’s no shocker that it nabbed the number one slot. But its occasionally forgotten sidekick—appreciation—is one of the key factors that keeps love alive. The small acts of kindness—the thank you’s, making an extra cup of coffee for your partner—these little things go a really long way.

How To Keep Your Manhood Up And Hard For Longer In 20 Ways

An erection is a funny thing. When it stays hard, you feel great about yourself but when it goes limp, no matter how hard you try, it can be the cause for some serious psychological concern.

If you’re not really suffering from anymedical conditions and still have a hard time keeping it hard, there are ways to keep it up and raring to go when you need it most. Just use these 20 tips on how to keep an erection up and it’ll definitely make a difference in your life in a couple of weeks.

Muslim Model Poses unclad For Controversial Advertisement

A 22-year-old Muslim model sparked controversy, as she posed unclad for American Apparel’s new ‘Made in Bangladesh’ campaign      .

Dhaka-born Maks, who immigrated to California, the U.S.A., with her family at the age of four, has opened up about her decision to star in the ad.
Maks has decided to ‘distance’ herself from Islam in high school, and currently works as a retail strategist, based in L.A.

Photos: Genevieve Nnaji Steps Out With Friends In London Wow she is cute

Looks like she’s rocking her natural hair. See more photos after the cut…

IMAGINE Man r*pes 5-Year-Old Girl, Blames Her For It

A 51-year-old Ohio man who was convicted of defiling his girlfriend’s 5-year-old girl blamed the little girl for his crime during his sentencing. Huff’Post reports:

Tiwa Savage and Davido Set The London Stage On Fire With Her Performance and Outfits – Photos

There’s no stopping Tiwa Savage has she continues to be the most sought after female Nigerian artiste. Tiwa thrilled the audience with an exceptional performance yesterday wearing three different outfits in one hour!
She performed alongside Davido and Diamond Platinumz at the “African Unplugged” show held on Sunday 14th September 2014 at the O2 Brixton Academy in London show held
yesterday Sunday 14th September 2014 at the O2 Brixton Academy in London.
Now you see why Tiwa and Davido have been scooping all the awards this year. The two are definitely hard working!
More Photos below:

Cynthia Morgan: “I Don’t Mind Dating Davido + I Never Used Whitenicious”

Jude Okoye’s first artiste on his North Side Entertainment record label — Cynthia Morgan has given us some juice about herself.
The dancehall queen in this new interview with Vanguard says, Omo Baba Olowo, Davido is her celebrity crush and if he walks up to her, they could work something out.

She also denied using Dencia’s whitenicious and said that’s the most weird story she has ever heard about herself and attributed her being light to something else.

On her semi-unclad pictures, she said people can always say what they like, she says she is an artiste and representing that cause.

Read excerpts below: -

Nikki Samonas: “I Flaunt My b**bs To Excite Ghanaians”

It’s funny how it’s always the people with the smallest boobies that think they ought to show off their chest in public.

After Yvonne Nelson made a similar comment, another Ghanaian actress and TV host, Nikki Samonas has revealed the reasons why her b**bs are often seen in the open.

(Photos) Model With The Biggest Hips in Africa Releases New Photos

Corazon Kwanboka is one of Kenya’s most curvaceous model and socialite. See more photos of her below..

Photos: Meet Ghanaian Actress Who is More Endowed Than Nicki Minaj And Kim K

Posted by: Haliwud November 24, 2014

She is currently one of the hottest women in the whole of West Africa and after viewing these photos, you’d know exactly why.

The VERY VERY VERY voluptuous Ghanaian actress, Peace Hyde, has been forced to speak up, refuting claims that her br**sts and buttock are so big because she has had implants fixed on her body.

Recently speaking with Graphic Showbiz, when asked if her body features are real or not, the Protégé actress responded: ‘I know I am well-endowed but I don’t know why anyone should think I have done b**bs and bums job. I have had people walk up to me to ask why I have such big br**sts and buttocks and whether I have done b**bs and bums job. All I tell them is my body is natural and not artificial.’

‘I used to be very big some years ago; I had big buttocks and br**sts but with regular exercise I have reduced in size and I like the way I look now,’ she added.

Peace made her acting debut in an Alex Mouth-directed flick, Protégé where she starred alongside Nigeria’s Steph Nora Okere and Wale Macaulay in 2013.

Thereafter, she featured in the hit Ghanaian series, Adam’s Apple and has since earned the Kardashian tag.

See more photos below:

4 Ways To Fix An Ailing Relationship

Relationships are challenging and full of lessons. We all make a mistake or two. Mistakes are part of life. However, once we’ve made a mistake and apologized for it, some of us struggle not to repeat the same mistake again. Sadly, committing the same mistakes over again affects relationships.

When you feel you’ve made a mistake in a relationship or if someone brings a mistake to your attention, do not fret. You have the potential to make things right. Here are four ways to do so:

1. Apologize
It is embarrassing to admit when you are wrong. Perhaps the last thing on your mind was to intentionally hurt someone you care for. But if your mistake harmed someone physically or emotionally, don’t shy away from telling the person how deeply sorry you are. Sometimes you make mistakes without realizing you are making them.

2. Think about others
Oftentimes, you make a mistake that doesn’t only affect you but those around you. For example, you storm out of your house due to a heavy disagreement with your spouse, but you later realize what you did was irrational. There’s tension upon your arrival home. There’s probably anger and distress. If you have children, they see the tension between you and your spouse, and that can cause them uneasiness. Before reacting on an impulse, try thinking about how your mistakes can affect your loved ones.

The Healing Benefits Of Taking Cod Liver Oil

With what seems like hundreds of new supplements coming out to the market every day, it’s impossible to keep track of them and very difficult to determine whether they are required in your health regimen. Fermented cod liver oil could certainly be lumped into a long list of supplements, but what sets it apart is its ability to deliver nutrients that have been largely absent in today’s diet. These nutrients can help create “miracles” in your overall health.

What can you potentially expect from consuming adequate dosages of fermented cod liver oil? This list is quite extensive and includes:

• Promotes healthy cholesterol levels
• Supports tooth and bone health
• Acts as a systemic anti-inflammatory
• Helps manage ADHD symptoms

Man Arrested For Defiling An 100-Year-Old Woman

Police in Wichita have arrested a suspect in the r*pe of a 100-year-old woman during a break-in at her home.

The Wichita Eagle reports Kasey Nesbitt, 35, was being held Friday in the Sedgwick County Jail on suspicion of r*pe and aggravated burglary.

7 Ways to Emotionally Satisfy a Woman

Dear men, believe us when we tell you, it is no rocket science to keep your lady emotionally happy. Use your brain tool well to gather cues from what your woman wants of you. There will be times when she would be very demanding or short-tempered, but then there might be days when she would shower all her love and attention on you. So, here is a plan outlined for you so that she knows you are there with her at every step, literally.

1. Heart-to-heart conversations
There will be times when she will drop hints on the ‘need to talk’. You have to keep your eyes open and break the ice by intiating conversation. Leave behind the four walls and go out to grab a cup of coffee or go for a morning/evening walk and speak to her. Find out about her day, talk to her about things that make her happy, take her to places where she feels at peace. All these things will make her open her heart out to you. Remember, communication is the most important part of any couple’s relationship.

Billions Of Strange-Looking Blue Animals Are Washing Up On The West Coast

Billions of small, jellyfish-like creatures known as “by-the-wind sailors” have washed ashore all along the west coast of North America this summer, from southern California to British Columbia. Images of vast swarms of electric-blue sails covering the ocean’s surface and littering the sand are indeed spectacular, but people might well wonder what exactly these strange-looking beings actually are. And this of course leads to the next question – should we be afraid of them?
Velella velella (to give them their scientific name) are often assumed to be a type of jellyfish but, while biology does lump them in with jellyfish, sea anenomes, and corals in a group known as Cnidaria, Velellas are not all that closely related to the common or moon jellyfish, Aurelia aurita.

Cnidarians have two body forms: the umbrella-shaped, tentacle-trailing “medusa”, your classic jellyfish; and “polyps” such as seas anemonies that typically live attached to the seabed.Velella is a colony of specialised individual polyps, much like their fellow sailors the Portuguese Man o' War. Instead of living attached to rocks on the seabed, the water surface has become its substrate.

The by-the-wind sailor’s body is a flat oval disk 6-7 cm in diameter containing a series of air-filled chambers that provide buoyancy. Below hangs a central mouth surrounded by specialised reproductive bodies that produce tiny medusae, little “jellyfish”, and stinging tentacles – which are harmless to humans.

Projecting vertically up is a stiff translucent triangular vane made of chitin, a substance derived from glucose that is also used in crab and insect skeletons or squid beaks. This vane acts like a small sail. Interestingly, the sail runs diagonally across the top of the float, so that the individual sails at a 45 degree angle to the prevailing wind, just like a sailing boat.

Another striking feature is the bright blue colour, which is thought to serve as camouflage and/or protection from the sun’s rays. Animals that wash up on the beach dry up and become bleached white within a day or two.

Velella velella use their stinging tentacles to capture and feed on small fish larvae and zooplankton – microscopic animals that drift in the sea. But this is not their only source of food. If you look closely, you will also see a golden-brown colour inside the tissues which are zooxanthspellae – symbiotic photosynthetic microalgae – that provide the host animal an additional source of nutrition.