6 Facts You Didn’t Know About Strippers

Strippers are one of those amazing things that makes existence on this planet bearable. The work they do for humanity is not only utterly necessary for the proper function of society, but also a beautiful display of what mankind can accomplish when they really put their minds to something important. Plus they show their titties. You AND your boner knew that, here are 6 facts about strippers you didn’t know.

Strippers Made The Bikini Possible
Imagine for a second that you are at the beach. It’s a gorgeous day, your belly is filled with delicious rum and you decide to check out the scenery. You look at the girls frolicking in the sand and notice that they are all wearing insane one piece bathing suits from the 50′s. Okay, try if you can to pull your mind out of that terrifying place. You back? Now go thank a stripper. Master bro Louis Reard invented the bikini, but not a single woman in 1946 would model it for him due to the swimwear’s deliciously revealing nature… so he hired a stripper to do it! Thanks stripper from 1946 who probably had an insane bush poppin outta the bottom of that thing.
Stripper Ovulation Makes Us Go Crazy
Erections are mysterious. They, like God–work in mysterious ways. I just got a boner the other day from seeing my savings on the receipt at the grocery store. Yes, few men will ever discover all the secrets their junk holds deep. Here’s another mind boggling fact about a chub… ovulation makes us open our wallets. A study shows that strippers make way more money when they are ovulating. Damn, girl those eggs are driving me wild!
Tax Deductible Ta Tas
Just when you start to lose faith in every aspect of our government, you find out something like this that at least makes you feel a smidgen better. Turns out, titties are tax deductible for strippers and count as a stage prop. 1994 was a monumental year for bros after a stripper won this right from a tax court judge. In t*ts we trust.
As Fun As A Chinese Funeral
When you learn things about China, 9 times out of 10 you end up convinced that living there would completely blow. But back in the day, these folks knew how to blow out a funeral. For many years it was common practice to send people to the great beyond with a beautiful lap dance for the corpse. The practice has now become outlawed, which is a shame.
Hulk Make Ladies Horny
A ton of time is spent on the case to finding out exactly what springs those sweet beautiful lady-parts to life. Well, we need look no further than the classic Stan Lee creation the Incredible Hulk. Yep, that’s what grinds their gears. In fact the body double of the CGI movie version of the Hulk is a male stripper. If I were him, I would constantly be yelling HU”LK SMASH MEATWALLET!”
OH CANADA!
Our bros up north in the great land of Canada know that a good trip to the strip club includes some hearty belly laughs. There is a tradition held throughout clubs in Canada called The Looney Toss. Patrons take their coin money (the looney) and throw it at the unclad body of a stripper to try and knock the coin off of her. It’s like curling, but with more blood rushing through your private parts.