1. Look Each Other in the Eyes
It’s so easy to get into busy mode and start multi-tasking when things get a little heated in order to avoid a complete blow up (at least, that’s what I do while also practicing my deep breathing exercises and counting to ten LOL). But the more you practice looking each other in the eyes while you’re talking, the harder it is to stay upset. When you can speak to each other eye to eye, you see love, and in turn want to focus on loving and not fighting.
2. Hug for at least 60 Seconds
There is something about hugging that forces tension to leave your body. Even if you can’t find the right words to say in the heat of the moment, a hug usually helps to clear your thoughts. It also allows you to determine if the disagreement is worth the tension or not. Most of the time it’s not, and a good, long embrace can do wonders to instantly melt away those feelings of temporary resentment.
3. Listen (Openly)
We talk about listening all the time on here. It’s such a basic thing to do in effective communication, yet it is also the most easily forgotten thing to do. When we’re hurt or upset, the last thing we want to do is listen to our spouse’s rationale. But I’ve learned to stop trying to assume what I “think” I know he’s going to say, and instead allow him to say it in his own way. When I take time to listen and really emphathize with where he’s coming from, it cuts down drastically on the hurt and confusion.
4. kissing
When you’re in a salty mood, probably one of the last things you want or feel like doing is kissing your spouse (trust me, I know!). But if you’re kissing, that means you’re not arguing. And the faster you kiss, the faster you make up. The more time you practice making up, the less time you’ll generally spend being upset and/or annoyed. There’s never any fun in that. But kissing is always fun, especially when it leads to other things *wink*.
5. Find Laughter
If it’s possible to find laughter in whatever situation prompted a disagreement, then find it. I truly believe my husband was a professional comedian in his previous life. He can generally find laughter in any situation, even when we get on each other’s nerves. And once we start laughing, there’s usually no turning back.
Yes, there will always be times of disagreements in this beautiful journey of marriage. But the quicker we can settle them, the quicker we can get back to what we really want to do…and that’s loving.
